Screw the lengthy introduction this time; I’m going straight to the point: Video games treat women as sex objects. That’s not even a question or a quizzical thought- it’s a fact. When the female sex turns up in a video game, 9 times out of 10 it’s for sex appeal first and anything else second if at all. Now comes the question: Is this a problem?

I want you to think about something- how many principle female heroes in all of fiction can you name that does not have ‘attractive’ as one of their significant virtues? Not many. Now think about male characters. Set aside those that are ordinary looking because then we would be here all day and just think about the sheer number of male heroes who are allowed to have downright ugliness as a defining attribute…yea the disparity is really quite stunning and it summarizes an interesting aspect of our cultural psyche.

Since the majority of female heroes seem to be inspired by material aimed at women it can be discerned that us females place just as high, if not higher, a premium on beauty in female characters as men do. There must be a lot of complex and utterly boring reasons for this, but to simplify, nobody cares about the handsomeness of men apart from gay men and women but apparently everyone likes a pretty girl, including women and especially gay men- look at the fashion industry for fucks sake.

So it’s not surprising that video games would follow suit by having every female character stride out looking like they’ve just jumped out of a Maxim calendar. And yes- it also has a lot to do with the fact that the average gamer is between the ages of 18 and 35 and are dudes- but I prefer to make my blogs nice and lengthy, so I’ll be ignoring this major factor.

In any case it is an indisputable truism that the overwhelming majority of female heroes (and villains for that matter) are a catalogue of spectacular babeage; a catwalk of flawless skin, toned tummies, perfect asses, killer legs and amazing tits all assembled into a character that is adventurous yet innocent, pixyish yet powerful, classy yet very slutty and that some people (mostly women) have a problem with that.

The meat of the debate generally comes down to matters of perception and expectations. Portraying women in this way negatively impacts both the relationship and self image development in younger gamers, both male and female, by setting up impossible standards. If little boys grow up with Lara Croft as a barometer they are going to be disappointed and are probably going to give the overlooked real girls a bit of a complex. I’d also add that they would be missing out on discoveries such as, while D cups are esthetically pleasing for the male eye, a couple of B’s tends to be more user friendly as they are conveniently near to the perfect hand-to-boob ratio. You see, an increase in mass generally means a decrease in sensitivity and thus more work on your behalf but not necessarily superior results. That and virtual women can’t offer hugs, kisses, emotional support or conversation which are kind of important too.

Meanwhile, this whole charade will certainly not end well for women who hold themselves up to these standards because, well, human beings were never supposed to be shaped like this…are we clear on this? Dudes, gals, Japanese character artists whose fault most of this is in the first place, are we clear? Yes, fantasy is a healthy part of life but if you see a women shaped like a those sexy virtual babes just walking down the street then you need to run the fuck away because she’s been sent her by Skynet!

But it’s far worse than that: if these bodies were unobtainable than us women would have figured that out already, be disappointed, get over it, move on and then derive endless amusement from our male counterparts’ inability to do the same. Yet the fact is that the average physique of these characters is attainable for anyone with the money and low self esteem to throw themselves under the knife… as if it wasn’t sad enough that young girls are barfing their way to an unhealthy thinness. Are we really ready to face a future where surgeons get to buy their fourth yacht with the money given to them by a wispy little thing who hopes that some ungodly perversion of the Golden Ratio will make her feel less self-conscious in the world? And if you think I’m going over the top here, this is an industry where Nariko can be said to have a comparably realistic figure and Tifa Lockhart is considered ‘butch’…

So…what are we going to do about this? Not the actual cheesecake representation of women in games- I think we’ve established that’s not going anywhere; guys like it, girls like it, some girls really like it…that’s staying where the fuck it is. What we can do however is change how this idiosyncrasy of the medium changes the outside world. And ladies, when I say ‘we’, I mean us- because the guys are totally helpless with this one. They’re useless, no joke. They are completely out of their league at fixing this. You’re never going to turn off a male geek’s tendency to be sexually attracted to virtual titties- the power is just not in our hands for that. Fortunately, that’s just about the only power that is not in our hands!

See, nerds are socially awkward- if they weren’t they would be called something different thus some of them have the same odds of getting with Princess Farah than with one of you. Yet if you were, by some freak of nature, a direct copy of Farah those gamer geeks probably wouldn’t be able to work up the courage to speak to you. I’m not suggesting you go sleep with the Anime guy who hangs around at Blockbuster who you once overheard telling his friends you looked ‘almost elfish’ (although where he comes from, that’s a really high compliment!). It’s just that most of these guys are totally nice, friendly and well worth knowing and some of them are actually pretty dateable- you just have to make the first move to see how a Guy Geek changes into a normal dude once woman acknowledge his existence. I can vouch for that: Comic-con used to smell a lot different before the existence of us Girl Geeks exploded and then suddenly, BANG, the dudes discovered hygiene! We made an important difference then and we can do it again.

In simple terms- the more likely it is that a Guy Geek can feel confident enough to form relationships with real women, the less likely he is to turn to the fantastical virtual woman. The less powerful that lure, the less game developers would need to over employ it… which eventually means a lot fewer, shitty releases of Tomb Raider sequels and in that respect alone, we’ll be doing Gods work.