At first, Jim was happy with his relationship with Eiko they had both risked ostracision for. He found a job as a lab technician and she as an astronaut, and together they worked towards creating a happy home. They were forever buying each other little gifts, sitting together in front of the TV to watch martial arts marathons, introducing each other to new meals like sushi and sea biscuit. But then, it all began to go wrong.
Yes, it turned out that Eiko was a high maintenance girl. After just one week together, she forced him to have a bath, which ruined all the years of work he had put into his disgusting pirate man-stench. Being allowed to retain his horrifying lice infestation was small comfort.
By the time his sugar gal made him throw out his beloved pirate gear and dress like James Bond's adopted penguin, Jim realised that, by following his heart, he had lost something even more important - his soul. It had been a mistake from the start, he realised. He was a pirate, a stinking gap-toothed sea dog, and the brine ran in his veins. Nothing he could do could make Eiko see this, and so with a heavy heart he realised what he had to do.
That night, he left his beloved sleeping in their marital bed and set a corner of the house ablaze, in the hope that his immolation among the flames would be enough to repent his sins in the eyes of the pirate gods. A single tear beaded on his cheek as he took one last glance at his snoozing girlfriend, knowing they could never discuss yachting again.
But luck being what it is, the fire just wouldn't behave itself, and Jim was forced to watch as the flames destroyed everything in the house before finally getting to him. The couple died writhing in pain, reaching out to one another in the inferno with rapidly-skeletonising hands. And then, most tragically of all, I saved the game by accident.
So there you have it, fellow people watchers - it is possible for a ninja and a pirate to escape the conditioning of ages and run away together, but even forces as powerful as love shrivel beneath pitiless kitchen fires. But if more pirates and ninjas could follow Jim and Eiko's example, I think they would find that they have a lot of common ground. If they had some common enemy to fight against - like robots or cowboys - then the co-operation between ninjakind and piratekind could be an unstoppable superstar tag-team. But I guess we'll never know.
Old-Nick
Pro 
You are very strange.
I kill you last.